In Hindu society, after a person dies, the family is expected to host a feast called Mrityubhoj (also known as Terahvi or Tehravi, held on the 13th day after death). Many people believe that if the family does not serve Mrityubhoj, the soul of the departed will not find peace.
Why Did Mrityubhoj Begin?
The custom is rooted in the belief that feeding Brahmins, relatives, and the community helps the departed soul attain peace and a smooth passage to the afterlife. Over time, this practice became a social obligation that families feel they must fulfil.
The Drawbacks of Mrityubhoj
Today, Mrityubhoj often means inviting everyone in the family’s circle, and the guest list can reach 500 to 700 people. The expenses can run to ₹2-3 lakh or more.
For upper-middle-class families, this may be affordable. But for lower-middle-class families and those below the poverty line, it can feel like a punishment. A family that has just lost a loved one is already in deep emotional pain, and on top of that, it must arrange food, tents, and catering. Many families take heavy loans just to avoid social criticism, and some remain trapped in debt for years.
Time to Rethink the Tradition
Grief should not be turned into a financial burden. Peace for a departed soul cannot depend on how many people are fed or how much money is spent. True respect for the dead lies in remembering them with love, living by their values, and taking care of the family they left behind.
Instead of a large feast, families can choose simpler and more meaningful ways to honour their loved ones, such as:
- A small prayer gathering with close family
- Donating food, clothes, or money to the needy
- Supporting education or medical help for someone in the name of the departed
- Planting trees in their memory
Conclusion
Traditions should serve people, not trouble them. It is not necessary to force families into debt and hardship in the name of ritual. Let us make a change, and let us not harass grieving families further. Leaving behind the pressure of Mrityubhoj is not disrespect to the dead. It is compassion for the living.
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